Actually Planning and Past the Pessimism

It's been a rough summer, so I neglected my blog. I actually forgot that it existed, which is pretty status quo for me to do, but nothing has happened on the wedding planning front until recently. Everything came crashing down recently when Toby, my dog, became very ill and we found out that he had lymphoma. We had to put him to sleep about two weeks ago. It's been very hard to think about a wedding because I had always pictured him as part of it and also as a part of my future home with Shawn. The time that I had planned to use on my summer break for wedding planning was spent taking care of him in his last couple of weeks and then trying to pull myself back together.

We're still working on what we each want and a way to compromise that. We're trying to figure out what our living situation will be and whether to rent or buy a house or to rent my house now from my parents if they move out before March. Everything is very up in the air. Shawn does not want a lot of people (any people if he can help it) at the ceremony. I have too many people that would be hurt if they were not at the ceremony. Our best way to compromise this is to have a very private ceremony with only the most essential people. Then, the reception can be a little more open and free. I would like it to feel less like a reception and more like a fun family reunion, at least fun in the way that I used to remember family reunions with lawn games and music and dancing.

Today, I actually made some progress.

1. I emailed a minister about her availability. It's someone that I've met before and I like her viewpoints on life and love.
2. I showed my mom my Pinterest page. This is a big step for me. She seemed excited.
3. I found someone giving free wine bottles away on Craigslist. I contacted this person, but haven't heard back yet. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, but if it doesn't work out, please save your wine bottles for me if you drink heavily. Or really any pretty/interesting bottle.
4. I found a dress that I like at Macy's. It's actually one that I liked before, but that disappeared from their website for a few months. It's available again and $99.

I feel like my hostility towards the wedding industry is gone now. I still despise it and plan to do everything in my power to keep from falling into that trap.

I'm beginning to look...

After being on the tail-end of the plague-like illness that has ailed me for the past two weeks or more, I am coming out of the fog to realize that I probably should start doing some things wedding-related.  We've pretty much decided that January will be when we get married for practical reasons.  Not because of the song.  While it would be fun to have an outdoor wedding, this will probably work out better.

I found a really affordable place called Jim Miller Hall in J-town.  It is an old church building from the late 1800s and comes with a creepy graveyard and a Gallapalooza horse.  And tables and chairs.  To be honest, the Gallapalooza horse is the most exciting thing about it.  I'm pretty sure it has Abraham Lincoln on the side.

Holy cow.  That is beautiful AND patriotic.  I might cry.

I'm thinking about using Bootleg BBQ for food.  It's cheap, good, and everyone loves barbecue as far as I know.  I also perused Craigslist for a time today, however, I was quickly distracted by the "Missing Connections" and "Best of Craigslist" sections.  I did find a supplier of free manure for my dad, but that has nothing to do with weddings.

I actually emailed places for price quotes today.  I'm not sure what's wrong with me.  I think maybe getting my engagement ring back from Benton's really helped inspire me.  By the way, Benton's Fine Jewelry in Jeffersonville is awesome.  I can't even tell which stone fell out of my ring, and they told me to make sure that I came back periodically so they could check the posts so that wouldn't happen again. Plus, I feel great about supporting a local business.

Is it wrong to plan a wedding around a song?

Shawn and I were discussing random wedding dates (AND THIS DOES NOT MEAN WE'VE SET A DATE JUST SO EVERYONE KNOWS), and January was mentioned due to the convenience of several factors... Anyway, I found this song by the Avett Brothers which would be excellent to play at the wedding because it is almost perfect.  Well, maybe just the part about the girl who knows the names of birds and trees (hey, that's me!).

What's in your wallet?

I'm working on becoming more financially independent and responsible. If we plan on getting a house someday, I probably should build some credit. The only problem? I have zero credit right now, and I've never had a credit card or loan.

Unfortunately, my bank turned me down. The lady also tried to talk me into borrowing against my savings account to build some credit. She actually gave me pretty terrible advice, including encouraging me to always carry a balance if I could get a card elsewhere. She did send me to Capital One, and I was able to get approved. Hopefully, I'll have some credit built up by the time we start searching for houses in a year or so.

I realize that this has nothing to do with wedding planning, but there's really been nothing happening on that front, besides having a good talk with Brittany the other night in the car about doing what I wanted to do.

First Bridal Show

Mahalie and I went to a bridal show at The Grand in New Albany today. It wasn't totally scary, I actually got some ideas that I plan on stealing from the vendors there.

It was a little overwhelming, and I found my eyes glazing over more than once when I realized most of the services were way out of my budget. You see, (and some of you may gasp or be horrified), but my budget is $2,500. For the entire wedding. While my mom may not agree on this number, my dad and I do. So, it's a little disconcerting to talk to a photographer who sells packages that cost more than I plan on spending on the entire wedding.

The most helpful and interesting person that was there was a realtor from Remax. While I don't exactly daydream about the wedding, I do daydream about our house someday. I think about having a garden and cooking in the kitchen and making a home with Shawn. It seems silly to daydream about one day, when daydreaming about a lifetime seems much more exciting.

Facebook

This is going to be a short post, but how and why does Facebook keep posting ads about wedding-related things?  My ads went from occasional things about engagement rings to constant ads about weddings.... and laser hair removal for lifeguards.  But that's off topic.

This leads me to two possible conclusions:

1.  Facebook is psychic.  It knew that I was going to get engaged and now it knows that I'm going to get married.

2.  There's something slightly less fantastical and more stalkerish at work here.

Either way, STOP PRESSURING ME ABOUT WEDDING PLANNING, FACEBOOK.  ONLY MY MOTHER CAN DO THAT.

To be honest...

...I'm not really that enthusiastic about planning a wedding.  Or even having a wedding.  Suddenly, it's all that I hear about, and in some cases, it's the only way that some people relate to me anymore.  It's almost like I've become this entity.  Believe me, I would be perfectly fine getting married at a courthouse.  So would Shawn.  We used to talk about getting married on a cruise to the Caribbean.

Unfortunately, I've learned something since becoming engaged.

It's not really about what we want.

It's about what our hundred closest friends and relatives want.  If we did what we truly wanted to do, everyone else would be upset.

So, don't worry, everyone.  There will eventually be a wedding.  Maybe, one day, I won't inwardly cringe when someone brings up wedding ideas.  Maybe, I won't get physically sick to my stomach when I walk into a bridal store.  Maybe, I'll even become a bridezilla.

Okay, maybe not.